不之不觉

不之不觉，一个月就这样过去了。记得那天痛苦的感觉，那段心如刀割的两个星期真的是今年最难过的日子。这样说好像有点 over exaggerated, 但是现在再回想一下还是非常心酸。虽然真的好一点了，因为以为不可能走出这个depression, but i still made it somehow. even then, old thoughts still creep back one way or another in the form of nightmares. i guess, i havent completely let go subconsciously, if not why the nightmares?

要感谢的是朋友们的关心和 understanding. try to jio me out whenever possible to take a breath of fresh air and relook into the surroundings around me which i have missed for the longest time for nothing. really appreciate their never ending encouragements, for sharing my sadness and disappointment and getting angry with me and overall, just lending their listening ears to me to hear what i have to say. really don't know how to thank them.

有一些东西我可能永远都做不到。我的 ITOUCH 不懂在哪个包包里，一个月都没见光了。因为我再也不想听里面的中文歌曲。一听到中文歌就会想到我的 stupid ideals, 我的 overly patience and end up with nothing, the times hitching a ride in his car and just listening to songs without much talking, singing to the songs and twice the karaoke sessions we went for... in short, those days. even with my iphone, i have not transported any songs over.

可能我也再也不能像以前那样喜欢唱歌了，想想看，唱歌的感觉will never be the same ever.

they say music heals the heart and soul, i think it's quite difficult for me. maybe i'd end up listening to English songs. i quite like the Twilight's soundtrack. very laid back, very lazy melody. yes, it's the melody that catches my ear before liking the song and usually not the lyrics. 这点跟他很像。忘记有没有告诉他 before，但有没有再也不重要了。不是吗？

2010 的 resolution 之一就是再也不要当一个超极大笨蛋了！