Tuesday, November 17, 2009

drinks + dinner + sms

it's funny how the string of events can turn out. usually, it's unexpected. the aftermath of the whole episode should have been by now, far and beyond what i felt the day after the whole event happened, but hmm... nope. this morning it still killed me that i have to think about past events and the impending holiday which he and her will be going for.. it just sux.

i was waiting for two things today. dinner with a friend whom i knew would give me another perspective to things and confirmed what i have thought for the past couple of days. whether tears will fall is another story, but i needed to hear what he had to say. i was also waiting for my buddy's reply. she didnt reply me since the day i messaged her about the news. no point of deciding when to biao bai, more of the point of the news i found out. since thurs, she had not replied me. i wonder what happened to her.

today, i had dinner with the friend who would give me the perspective i needed for this whole thing that happened and i was glad it happened. perhaps, it was best to happen today coz the past few days as i reflected, i was angry and really upset. today, though i was calm to a certain extend, i was still unhappy. primarily, what i reaped was not what i sowed. still i felt, things would have been made known to me in a better way.

beer accompanied a pretty good dinner. pity i'd never be asking him to go to that place. on a separate note, thankfully, the places we have visited.. well, turns out that i'd probably never visit them ever. not because those places will bring back memories, but because, the food either not as good to expectations or i have found better places to spend my calories on. kinda fortunate coz of these reasons.

the things about friends i found out are that, they can either give you the best reasons to forget or the worst reasons to remember. in today's case, i am right about the two of them.

one gave me the confirmation that what i never did was probably the reason why i didnt reap what i sowed and he asked me why i hesitated telling the truth. told him that i wanted to give the person time and kept thinking that the next time we met would be the time to tell. nevertheless, i am basically too late. though even if i have told, things may not have changed, but i'd probably have a chance. anywayz, we both agreed that there is no point guessing and what is will be.

buddy who messaged me asked me one question coz i told her i removed him from FB, msn and will never read his blog ever. she asked what if he started to talk to me. i told it's highly impossible given that i have blogged the whole series of events which happened and plus it has been 4 days and i have not heard from him, it's unlikely i'd ever. if i do mean anything to him, i'd have heard from him. however, there's also the possibility that he never read my blog, check his fb or whatever coz it's not his habit. but regardless what it is, i now think that i stand zero in his eyes.

today is probably closure day. heading to bkk in a couple of hours and am all packed. funny today's packing is pretty fast and without much hesitation of what is required. i think i need to get out badly. hop on a plane, enjoy the luxury and spend. it is a coward's way of forgetting, then again, haven't i been a coward yet another time?


anyway, next entry, i promise it will be about something else. sorry to bore those who have been checking out my blog. just need to get it out of the system... i think i have done it today.

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