S.a.r.a.h Effect

lately, things with a friend hasnt been going well. apparently, friend said she was ready to listen to what i have to say but after msn-ing one day, i realised that she wasn't. i'm not sure if it's natural instinct to be so defensive, but it's making it very difficult to talk and from what i feel, she's definitely not ready for serious talk. yes, i contemplated if i should put this up, and i decided to. i feel that she's suffering from the S.A.R.A.H effect..


Shock, anger, rejection, acceptance and hope.


She's prolly in the stage of SAR. As such, whatever i've mentioned in my msn messages to her, she tried to defend herself by explaining. Seriously, my intention was only to let her know what i think, explanation was unnecessary.


Hope can only happen when there is acceptance. So acceptance IS important..


in the beginning of the year, i actually got a message from her citing that i was one of her bestest (girlfriend) and she was disappointed that we weren't close anymore. i returned a message to let her know that we are still friends, just that things aren't going to be the same anymore.


what's disappointing is that having been cited as one of her 'bestest (girlfriend) i realised that she didn't understand me at all... so much for bestest gf. and thank goodness since the tender age of 12, i told myself that there's no such thing as a best friend, coz best friends are always the ones who disappoint you. so i am happy with just having a few good friends.


my question is..


how do you tell people the truth when they are not ready to move on, persists on blaming others when they know that the very thing that is wrong actually stems from themselves? how do you tell them to look at the bigger picture to reflect and not something like small issues which doesn't need to be addressed coz the smaller issues will never be the ones to help these people move on?


now who can give me an answer to the above? i'd be happy to switch off what seems like plain biasness and look at things from another perspective if i can help a friend..