Wednesday, October 18, 2006

a 3 dotless entry

i used to have a theory about dots, dots and dots.

what are dots?

well, you know the 3 dots that you leave behind a sentence which sorta look like this:

'hey, i miss you...'

actually the sentence was supposed to be 'hey, i miss you a lot you know!?'

yeah, the 3 dots that are more than just simple dots. In fact, they are actually fill in the blanks for words that cannot/dont want to be mentioned or words that a person hopes the other party will try their best to fill in and read what they are trying to say.

yup, that's my theory about dots behind sentences. might apply to my sentences as well, sometimes they mean to say @#$%$% (read: Lots of vulgarities) or otherwise. well, it really depends on the sentence lah.

in any case, i haven't blogged for sometime, for if i were to blog, the blogs would have made too much/not much sense, perhaps too hurtful/polite and mayhap shows what a mean/nice and terrible/wonderful person i am/am not, but frankly speaking, this is prolly just me/not me. the me/not me that not many people know and the me/not me i hardly show anyone so that no one knows and even i don't know!?

*yeah okie, i am not making any sense here and it sounds like i am totally confused?!*

anyway, if i were to blog, the sentences would also be filled with dots. in the end, any reader who reads would either be confused (read: what the hell's she's talking about and what's with the dots?) or would try to read more into my dots (read: hmm, what is she trying to say? *question marks, question marks and MORE question marks*), so i rather leave dots aside and not blog, least any misunderstanding surfaces.

it's also coz my emotions are separated only by very thin lines. anything i typed might be misled by the emotions felt at that point in time. anything can trigger any type of emotions within me right now, of which, i have recently learnt to first do my very best to contain the emotions, think about the trigger, talk to friends about it then decide on the next course of action. i must say it's a change from my usual self, coz when i used to get stuck in such situations, i'd find someone to 'release' the emotion, go on and on about the trigger, then not do anything about it and make myself disappear. i have aged i guess? Damn bloody sad!?!

anyway, i am learning to try and stay calm, think through before doing or saying something drastic that might hurt anyone. not sure if it's something good but i know that right now, i am giving out some really weird vibes to many people.

Seriously, i need time to adjust. things may never be the same but at least things can return to normal. dont try me too hard, i might just crack. i dont even know myself. like i say, i am still learning and i have lots to learn.

geez, do i sound like i am going crazy...!?

(the 3 dots read: WTF!)


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