stay home sunday

so..zouk sucked or should i say the showcase sucked...totally..ET's mood was totally shattered and she totally flared, not coz of the show, but coz of something else...

sometimes i feel it's a misunderstanding...yet i totally understand ET's feeling at that point in time...it really cuts deep...and it totally hurts...flaring up...yup...like what happened to me on tues...i guess it coz we both know that the two people who caused us to flare are both who matters lots to us...as much as we are angry about why they do things that really confused us, and us wanting to know the truth as to what they actually think...we are just sad that we are currently not that much part of their lives which in truth...we really would totally dig at spending all the time we have in the world with them...anyhow...read her blog...glad she realised that she flared at him again...i was worried when i went with her to devil's to meet he who caused her to flare. she sounded like she can do anything and will do anything...basically...i hate fights and will never handle well in a situation when violence occurs...it's just totally not worth it...getting any party physically hurt using violence is the most terrible way to go for a relationship...personally, that's how i feel.

in any case, it all ended ok...as in no fights. glad that she was more calm later and we talked lots...ok...i talked lots...about HWSNBN...again...but in greater depth...i guess after the crying episode...i felt better and less burdened by what i was trying to bear earlier...so i was more comfy...i even told ET that thinking back, i prolly cried coz i was too happy to see him...haa...anyhowz...it ended in a disaster...i could have smiled and hugged him when i saw him at bala but i didnt!...sometimes i wonder...why oh why am i so hesitant when the opportunity presents itself...i've planned to do a lot of things when i meet HWSNBN again..yet i never did anything i planned...at the back of my mind, i always think that the moment isn't right...seriously, i believe it's coz i'm still not confident with myself. i still have my security issues that i need to iron out and to stop being too hesitant...yup...if i never move on from these issues of insecurity, i will never land myself a guy who would be serious with me...i must work on this..

and so...i was home the whole day...didnt go for the guys' match as BBWC had to go to the match venue from somewhere else so no tompang...ET couldn't make it as well...so i ended up going back for more sleep...

BBWC said 'ok. sorry you missing your chance to see handsome boys.'
Me: 'yah *sob*..i know..but nevermind..next time got chance you can still intro..hee'
BBWC: 'ok. will do my best.'

heh...guess i'd still have chance to meet handsome guys...heh...anyway B didnt bring another of him back from KL...he cited that the cloning failed coz they forgot to add a brain for the cloned B...so i asked if 1 of him is enough for ET and me...he said 'sharing is caring'. i replied 'over sharing results in unfavourable side effects'..then he asked us to work it out amongst ourselves...

so ET...can i have him Thurs, Fri and Sat and you have him Mon, Tues and Weds? Haa then B can rest on Sun and hangout with the guys...hahaha...